Kicking has been deplorable in the NFL this season. Living in Cincinnati, I’ve witnessed my share of missed Mike Nugent field goals and PATs (3 consecutive, in fact). I decided to write a little parody song about Mike Nugent’s woes using a famous Ted Nugent song “Cat Scratch Fever”. Enjoy.

Missed Kick Fever Lyrics

Well I can barely see the goalposts
Yeah they sure seem far
It’s like they’re eighty yards away
And I know it’s only thirty
Why couldn’t it be twenty?
Maybe we should just punt it away

‘Cause I’ve got missed kick fever
Missed kick fever

The first time that I got it
Should’ve won the game
But then I missed it wide right
The next time I was out there
For an extra point
My leg was trembling with fright

I’ve got missed kick fever
Missed kick fever

It’s pandemic
I’m not alone
But the fans all hate me
When my number’s called, they head out to pee
I feel like crying
Oh what can I do? Why can’t they go for two?

But here I am again
With the game on the line
Everyone is filled with doubt
But the snap is true
And it’s down in time
What the?! – I said “Laces out!”

‘Cause I’ve got missed kick fever
Missed kick fever